Tuesday 18 August 2015


This is an article written by a uniben student. Read below...

There's a lot in this Beautiful ride, that's amazing, super blazing and you are yet still to know

I'll have a lot to say, but I'll be just this day, to tell u something, you shouldn't always do in this beautiful note

To say that all is well, advice, talk and tell, you the fact we all detest,
The struggles and pain, decision we made, with that I just intend to talk and chat about the word Regret. . .


In the mouth of every single living being u will find it
And every unconscious or conscious decision that was made or wasn't, is always behind it
Joy, jubilation, happiness and good moods is totally what regret is not in line with
But before I talk much about it, we should know what it really means and its only best I consult the dictionary to know how they define it


Disappointment is what comes to your mind, if you hear the word the first time, but not to push to conclusion,
the next line, comprises of the definition, the dictionary has Laid to you

Regret was solely defined as,
a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment
over an occurrence or something that one has done or failed to do,

And though we are complex with attitudes and our decision vary
that up there was a detailed definition of regret from the dictionary

Regret they say is inevitable, one way or the other in every one's presence it glows,
however, regret could further more be defined in the essence below,

As a feeling of sorrow, disappointment, distress, or remorse about something that one wishes could be different.
Or a sense of loss and longing for someone or something gone or passed out of existence:

regret is a negative emotional state that involves blaming ourselves for a bad outcome,

Now the question is, does regret have any positive effect on something we already did, decision we made or does it change the already stated bad outcome?

And if your answer is no, Then y do you regret?

I have seen a lot of people, who spend quality time regretting
About an event, something they didn't do or they did and they felt it was wrong, that they are seriously in debt with,

Sometimes they cry, lay curse, and talk about the past that they consciously don't Intend to change
They can go on for hours, but just after that moment they spend regretting, they still live in the same path of life, and everything remains the same

And I wonder why they even bother about the past, if they really don't intend to change

 Regret can be positive and negative, it all depends on the way it show

But before i go on, let's take a deep read at what Rita Mero said below

And I quote
“I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason.
The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much
stronger person.”

That being said, you should know that regret is only positive,
if you intend to accept your errors, change the past
by correcting the present and build a better future,
and don't make the same mistake u already did, that way you have learnt another lesson

that doesn't really mean, that in attempt to create a better future, you should always be ready to regret
But with that still, I'll put to you that its not healthy to regret

Though there may be different situation that you really Couldn't detest
And It wore you down. That aside, below are some reasons why you shouldn't regret

Regret can have damaging effects on mind and body when it turns into fruitless rumination and self-blame that keeps people from re-engaging with life. Though we always can't  tell

but this pattern of repetitive, negative, self-focused ruminative thinking is characteristic of depression and may be a cause of this mental health problem as well.

Regret is total waste of time and a poison to one mans confidence, it brings nothing but pain,

Sometimes it wears u down,  make u whine about the past, but looking deep down you 'll find there's nothing to gain

A lot of things make me wonder, most I can't really mention quite,
But people who are always regretting leaves puzzles in my heart that can't be answered, and these make me ask questions like

Do we just regret cause its what our life really demand?

I mean Why would someone grief for something that happened and it is irreversible and can't be undone. I mean what good, do they really derive or gain?

Its one thing to regret its another to accept your past the way they are and still try to effect change if you still can

For example, I can say that I regret something, I do nothing... I just sit and say "Oh... and blame myself and grief"
believe me when I say that  There's nothing that the regret can provide but pain.

There's so many situation that regret thus will still deflect
 But still, you might not agree, but research shows that regret also have a positive effect

research shows that regret was rated more favourably than unfavourably, primarily because of its informational value in motivating corrective action, and also in helping us to thread with caution,
Interestingly, regret was rated highest of a list of negative emotions in fulfilling five functions:

(1) making sense of the world,
(2) avoiding future negative behaviors, to prevent agony
(3) gaining insight, about future activities
(4)  improving ability to approach desired opportunities (presumably because we regret past passivity).
(4) and lastly, achieving social harmony,

The out listed functions above, to be sincere are damn impressing

But regret is only useful and could produce the functions above, if we are aware that the mistake made also taught us a lesson

That way, we don't just forget the past
But act as wise men, build on the present in exchange to correct the past

We are all mortals, we can't shy away from the fact that we make mistakes and we can't do nothing but hope and regret,

So therefore, below are some stated guide lines that will help us all cope with regret

Regret can be negative, and still possess a positive functional aspect

Reason why one of the ways to cope with regrets is to HARNESS THE FUNCTIONAL ASPECT

Regret, like all emotions, has a function for survival. It is our brain's way of telling us to take another look at our choices, and not rush into conclusions in a hurry
a signal that our actions may be leading to negative consequenes. You might be amazed but you should know that Regret is a major reason why addicts get into recovery.

Another way to cope with regret, especially when its concerning your past, decision made over some situation,
To cope with regrets as such, the best you do is to "Let It Go If There is Nothing You Can Do to Change the Situation,

Cause If you get stuck blaming yourself and regretting past actions, this could turn into depression and damage your self-esteem. Resulting to another big negative situation

In addition to cope with regret, so that the body and household and all be fine,

Make Sure You are Not Taking Too Much Blame, or always finding fault in yourself all the time

Always try to Consider  the circumstances at the time that event occurred that may have made it more difficult to make good choices, or
the fact that you had limited knowledge at the time.

work with these guidelines stated in order to cope and utilise regrets effectively,
and last but not least, no matter how negative your given situation look like, always try to  Re frame the Situation More Positively

Think about life as a journey. Everybody makes mistakes and these can be opportunities to learn important lessons about yourself,

your ways of reacting, values, vulnerabilities, triggers, and also about other people and how to take better care of yourself.

Now you see, its evident that every thing on earth that we do, always have their good and bad side

Who knows, those situations u deeply regret might be the only reason you still alive and you still have people by ya side

For example,
Samson might regret he missed his flight because of some issues he had to discuss with his mum,

But then who knows, maybe if he left in a hurry he wouldn't have returned

So my friend, live life the way they come, make amend when you need to but don't always regret

My name is songwritter nel, and this note was to let you know why you shouldn't regret.


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Thanks for reading

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